Thanks for the nice wishes!

Dear Ape & Ijul,

It is so sweet... Congratulation!
Hopefully you are always in happiness...
dendi&dini

Juli and Ari,

Selamat yah, Semoga kehadiran Cemara semakin
mempererat hubungan kalian. Turut berbahagia deh.
Wawat, Feli, Mike & Nathan

Mas Ap dan mbak Yuli,

Aduh lutuna foto Rara itu, selamat ya. Mudah2an Rara bisa mengisi hari2 mas
ap dan mbak yuli menjadi lebih indah.
Liza Punderika

Hello Juli and Ari new mother and father
Wow Congratulations. And thank you for letting us know in your busy time.
Rara looks big and clear face. Lovely. You feel already happy, yes, more and more you’ll be happy. You must be busy. you are in lucky. I think you experienced half of raise your sister’s children. And Rara is at your grand parents now. She is happy to be surrounded many nice family. You did good decision.
Adoption is rare in Japan. near Olio station, there is the most famous sterility treatment obstetrician in Japan. some of my friends went there. Some of Hiro and Shin’s friends born there. Some of celebrity went there. When people don’t have a child, they think sterility treatment. Little think about adoption. But see the world, super star adopt child. I like that. Sterility treatment cost a lot and painful, and you don’t know whether success or not. Two my friends from high school don’t have child. Perhaps they did sterility treatment at certain level, and gave up. Sometimes we have lunch together, I want to say them about adoption, but I can’t. I think if for me, I don’t care the baby blood, whom baby is given birth by. But in real, I can easy to know many hurdles.
Somehow I envy you. because I know how sweet new baby. I want hug and kiss her. Please send my kiss,kiss,kiss to her.
See you
Yasuko

Juli dan Ari...
Selamat ya..atas...putri pertama...
Smoga akan menambah kebahagiaan keluarga kalian
berdua...

turut berbahagia...
Wiwik

Wah, menyenangkan mendengarnya. Selamat, selamat...
Semoga jadi anak yg cerdas, cantiq, dan salehah. Amin.

Regards,
Darwis Darwis

Dear Ari,
Selamat. Semoga Ibu sama anak semuanya sehat.
I hope your studies are going smoothly.

Best wishes
Chris Manning

Dear Uli n Ape'....

Selamat ya.... koq pinter sih..... tanggal lahirnya sama ma mba' Wisye.....
Jadi nanti tahun depan... kalo ngerayain HUTnya Rara.... bareng2 ya ma mba' Wisye.... hehehehe..

Oh iya untuk Ape'.... Happy Lebaran ya... Mohon Maaf Lahir & Batin....


salam,
Wisye, Mone & Nicky.

Hallo Jul-Ari,
Congratulation!!..Cemara Vidya Lestari Perdana -- very beautiful and meaningful name. She is very cute. One thing about baby " She knows how to make us work for her"..:) but they all worth it!!! Enjoy parenting Juli-Ari.
Cheers,
Irene-Ben-Reyza

Jul & AP,
Selamat yag tuk new family member, Rara. Gede juga yag si Rara, yang
pasti lucu tuh, bisa di-sayang2 juga sama si ethan..hehe..

Minal aidin juga yag tuk AP.

Regards,
Ade

Juli,

Selamat ya atas kedatangan Rara di hidup kalian; semoga terus menikmati the joy of parenting.
Bambang, Caroline, Frances, Joseph.

Hai JuliAriRara...

Congratulations!!!
love,
frances

Dear both Ijul and Ape',

Congratulations to you both. It is a great news and a big step that you guys took in your life. I am proud of you and happy for you.

Take care of the baby and may God always be with you.
Love,
Ocha.

ps: Shall we throw the party?? he..he..he...

Juli, Ari -

Wah congrats ya ! What a great & noble thing that u
guys did.
Happy ber-parents ria deh ya!
-Petty & Dewin

Juli and Ari,

Congratulations on the new addition in your family!
Warmest welcome to Cemara "Rara" Vidya Lestari Perdana....

Kapan ke Boston lagi?
xoxo,
the Schurs

Ijul & Ape,

Selamat yah atas bertambahnya anggota baru.
Semoga tumbuh menjadi anak yang sehat, cerdas dan dikasihi oleh sanak
kerabat.
Beby

Dear Juli and Ape,

Congrats for Rara!:)
May she become a sholehah, healthy and happy child, a source of happiness and joy for her parents...
May all of you always have His blessings....
cheers,
Devi - Sanur86/FEUI86

Juli Ari,
Selamat ya atas Rara. Kita di KMK miss you dearly,
Agnes & Michael,
Hi Juli,

Thank you for the email. I think you did try to send an email before but I could not open it , I only saw the title new member in our family and at that time, I thought you were going to tell us that you are pregnant. :)

Congratulations, now you have also become a mum. And you are going to be a full-time mum, (what I read from the blog)

She is very lovely and I wish you and Ari all the happiness in your new family. :)
Take care and
Keep in touch
Angela

Hi Juli and Ari,
Wah, surprise banget mendengar khabar kalian udah punya baby secepat ini...
Semoga Rara terus menjadi satu sumber kebahagiaan kalian. I hope I can
see her when I am back to Indonesia, or when you bring her to the U.S.
anytime soon.
I keep the three of you in my prayers..
Btw, you will not miss Boston, coz we got a very nasty weather
recently.. but we miss you.
Rm Bagus SJ

July & Ari, congrat!!! So happy to hear your great news. Terharu sekali loh, lucu sekali sich Rara, gemes ngeliatnya pipinya gendut banget.... enjoy parenting and she will bring lots of joy in your life, trust me....
Best of luck,
Shirley

Juli and Ari,

CONGRATULATIONS!! She is beautiful, and I am very happy for you!

Best wishes to all,
Carol Finney

Aku juga baru buka milis Boston common setelah berhari2 gak buka, baru tahu tentang hadirnya Rara. Selamat ya, kita ikut bahagia dengan kalian berdua. Coba kalian masih disini Nadine dan Rara bisa main bareng nih!
Salam,
Hari, Valen dan Nadine

Juli & Ari,
Your email that I received was blank, but from the subject, I presume that you have a new baby. Congatulation. A boy or girl? I am on mission in the middle east now, and plan to stop by in Jakarta next week. Salam,
Tubagus

Congratulations Ari & Juli on the new addition to your family! She looks adorable in the pictures! Best of luck to you with getting settled with the new baby. We hope you will keep us posted on how everything goes and continue to send pictures!
-Annika & Lee

Juliari:

I enjoyed the blog. Rara is a very very pretty baby.
No wonder the grandparents are carzy about her.
Let them spoil her now that she is still a baby.
Hadi

Selamat atas kelahiran RARA, wah akhirnya datang juga ya si buah hati.
Jul/Ri Gue disini ama teman2 lu di UI, Johan Sidik, Susilo Prasodjo ama
Revi
Florentinus Suryo Susilo

Congratulations! And be happy with her. It's a precious moment to have her in your family. We are fine here even though it's extremely cold. Quite strange actually. Anyway have a marvelous day. My greetings for all of you!
Frater Harno

Hey Ijulle and Mas Ari!!

Congratulations ya... Gue terharuuu banget baca blog kalian... Terima kasih banyak to include me in sharing this celebration...

Rara's is a very beautiful name indeed... Mudah-mudahan Rara bisa tumbuh menjadi anak yang sehat dan pintar yaa, living up to your beautiful name...

Sekalian kok gue lupa... Buat Mas Ari, Selamat Idul Fitri, mohon maaf lahir batin yaa...

Jadi sekarang sibuk ya mondar mandir Benhil-Bintaro?... Kebayang deh, repotnyaa, tapi lebih banyak senengnya ya... It's a wonder how a baby so small can bring so many people together, bring so much love and joy... Babies are truly a blessing, and indeed a bundle of joy...

Wishing you the best ya, Ijul, mas Ari... You are such a nice couple, and I'm sure will be great parents to Rara... She's most lucky!!!!

Kisses also from Juno... Miss you all!!!

Caecilia A. Widati

Halo Ari dan Juli,
terima kasih kabarnya...dan selamat atas anggota baru dalam keluarga kalian...siap menjadi orang tua yang baik.
Sekarang tinggal di Jakarta atau di mana?
Frater Ignas dan Wawan akan berkaul kekal 5 Nov Minggu ini nanti dan ditahbiskan diakon di Gereja St. Therese Chicago, Chinatown tempat aku tugas sebagai diakon saat ini 3 Desember 2006 bulan depan...Awal Juni kami bertiga rencana akan pulang Indonesia tuk tahbisan imamat mungkin di paroki St. Matius Bintaro Jkt 7 Juli 2007 plus Frater Harno pulang tuk cuti di Indonesia lalu balik lagi ke Chicago tuk terusin studinya...Kalau kami bertiga nanti tidak balik lagi ke US tapi menerima penugasan di mana pun kami berada nanti mungkin di Indo mungkin di negara lain sbg misionaris.
Salam dan selamat dari saya di St. Therese Church Chinese Mission Chicago,
dan sorry nih tidak sempat berkunjung saat liburan summer kemarin di Jkt,
Denny

AP & Ijul,

Congrats to you both
RLS

Hi Ari dan Juli...,..selamat yah atas babynya. Semoga kehadiran Rara menambah kehangatan dan membawa kedamaian di dalam keluargamu.
Kabar kami baik-baik saja. Semoga tahun depan jadi giliran saya kembali ke Indo.
Okay yah...take care and have a nice day both of you.
bye...
Adventus Ignatius,sx.
Xaverian Missionaries

Eh Juleeee,

Congratulations ya for the baby. Gue kaget aja gue pikir elo melahirkan. Kok cepet amat...kapan hamilnya. :)
take care ya and congrats again.

lian

Dear Ari and Juli,

Congratulations!

My wife (Lydia, also FEUI-85) and I just recently adopted a son. Born on 30-Mar-05, Jonathan Rio joined us on 13-May-06. He is now a very healthy boy. We love him and he, we think, can feel it.

If you do not mind my sharing, we were holding on to passage 2 Kings 5 of the Bible (http://www.ibs.org/niv/passagesearch.php?passage_request=2Ki+5&niv=yes). For us, this passage talks about: God works in his own way, in his chosen time, using his chosen means. [That Rio became our son after 11 years of marriage through an adoption process which was facilitated by an orphanage house is time, way and means chosen by God]

You guys may want to consider speaking with Ira Petranto at LPT-UI, a good psychologist in the field of family matters. She talked with us on issues around "what to prepare", "how do we deal with the environment", "when do disclose the truth to the child", etc. We found it helpful. So, just in case....

Once again, Selamat!

Cheers,

Sihol Aritonang

Selamat Ari-Juli .... Apa kabar? Kalo dilihat dari foto-foto yang ada di http://juliari.blogspot.com seperti Kalian dalam keadaan sehat dan baik-baik. Wah ada kerjaan extra nih buat kalian berdua buat ngurusin Rara....he.he..... Tapi sepertinya ada eyangnya Rara yang bakal membantu sehingga memperingan kerja Ari dan Juli..... Selamat menjalani hari-hari indah bersama Rara.....
wasalam dari chicago yang mulai jadi dingin tapi tetap indah lantaran dedaunan mulai berganti warna dan mulai juga pada rontok....

Caritas Christi Urget Nos

Paulus Yohanes Dharmawan Adharius

Hello, Juli and nice to meet you, Ari.

Congratulation!!!
Rara is a very sweet girl, isn't she? I saw her pictures.
I am happy to hear that you have a baby and you are parents<:

Juli, I am sure that you will be a wonderful mother. Because I know you.
Mother is usually very busy to take care of her baby. However, it is also
precious time for you. Have a fun time cherishing.

I wish for the health and happiness of your family.

Yuki

Hi Juli!

Congratulation!
She is SO CUTE!!
You wrote "you don't live together yet" in your blog.
Have you lived with your daughter yet?
I hope to hear about your daughter soon!!
Take care.

Best Wishes,
Yuri

Dear Ijul & Ape',

CONGRATS for Rara... Hope she brings joy & laughter to U both. Glad to
read U had a smooth adoption process. Enjoy your new role as parents!

Sorry for the late reply. So much has been going on lately. Be well!

--
bon espoir toujours,
~REvy sjahriAL~

Jul, gua dah buka blog elu, it's really touching story, and a nice
baby's name, anyway congrats again yach....awas lu jangan nyasar kirim
email lagi

Pea

Congratulations! We were delighted to hear of your new arrival. Hope you are getting used to the life of parents and that you managed to get the preparations done despite the Lebaran shop closings! Now settle back and enjoy the next 20 or so years, until you have to plan the wedding! And don't forget to invite us!

Sophia and Joe

Grandparents Children Fund (GCF)

Being an instant parent, Juli and I has yet to have the right 'infrastructure' and 'institutions' to raise Rara in our place. For one, Juli can not walk away from her job. Her boss asks her to stay until the end of the year, although she can negotiate a flexible working hours.

For some reasons, we don't really fancy having a babysitter or nanny to take care of Rara while both of us going to the office. We also don't fancy having a maid in our house. It's a matter of privacy, but also our house is too small so we don't have an extra room for our maid or babysitter. We are thinking of having a part-time housekeeper. So she can help taking care of our house during the day while Juli can focus on Rara. Then in the evening when I'm back from work, the housekeeper doesn't have to stay.

(In Indonesia, as well as many Asian countries, and perhaps also in greater Latin America - that includes Southern California - it is common even for a middle income family to have a full time maid.)

Anyway, we still have to wait until Juli finally resigns from her job. So the most urgent thing is to find the short-term solution. The good thing in Indonesia is, in the absence of the formal market of childcare, we can rely on our 'social capital': the extended family. Rara's grandparents (my mom and dad) enthusiastically offer to 'host' Rara. She is her first granddaughter; the last time she took care of a baby was 20+ years ago. There are also my little sister and sister-in-law who are willing to be the susbtitute moms for her.

So the temporary solution is Rara stays in Bintaro - a suburb around 30 minutes from Jakarta. Juli and I will commute between Central Jakarta and Bintaro. For 3 days in a week we stay in our small house in Benhil, and spend another four days in Bintaro.

But there is always the positive and negative side of it. My family are very eager - sometimes too eager - to take care of Rara. Somehow they are reluctant to let Rara go and stay with us in due time. We are also concerned that the 'Grandparents Childcare System' can make her a spoilt baby. There are also some different opinions about how to raise a baby. For example, should she wear a babypants, or just a traditional pampers (popok)? Should she wear earrings or not? And so forth.

Of course, if we should choose between Rara becoming a neglected child vs. having excessive attentions, we would choose the latter. The consequence is Rara will be an 'experiment' for all of us. She is an outcome of 'multiple household decision-making' process.

Pictures
Top - Rara with her mom Juli, auntie Ria (my little sister) and grandpa (Aki in Sundanese). Bottom - Rara with grandma (Nini in Sundanese) and mom, waiting for the doctor.

Meet the doctor

We brought Rara home on 26 October. In the evening we took her to the doctor to examine her condition, and to have her medical record. She was such a good girl. Did not cry or complain when the doctor examined her.

From the physical examination, she is in a very good condition. The doctor suggested to perform a USG examination on her brain to check whether there are problems.

Again, the USG shows no problem or any defects. But there is a 'normal variant' on her brain. Something about the gap between her left and right brain that is smaller than the average. The doctor explained us with some foreign language, which I did not understand. So I just asked her, "Is there any potential problem?" She replied, "No. It's just a 'normal variant,' just like some people were born with smaller eyes or asymmetric nosebone.." OK then...

(In fact, I was born with asymmetric nosebone, so I cannot breathe freely from my left nosethrill.)

After that, Rara had to have her blood taken. The nurse had difficulties finding her vein in either arms. So, her blood should be taken from her feet - drip by drip. It took a while before we got a sufficient volume. Of course she was crying. That was the first time we heard her crying for more than five seconds.

Thankfully, again, her blood exam did not show any problem. Surprisingly, she has the same blood type with me: B+.

Introducing Rara

We welcome our new member in the family: Cemara Vidya Lestari Perdana, nicknamed Rara. Rara was born on Wednesday, 18 October, 2006. According to the midwife record, she was 4 kg and 50 cm. A big girl – literally she is! We adopted Rara on the 26 October. So it was two days after the Ied (or three, depends on when did you celebrate it).

About the name

Cemara is ‘pine tree’ in Indonesian. We decided to name her Cemara because, well, we just liked it! But we were also inspired by ‘Keluarga Cemara’ (the Cemara Family), a novel by Arswendo Atmowiloto back in the ‘80s (yeah right, we are the ‘80s generation). And cemara is a strong kind of tree – it survives the winter, right?

Vidya is Sanskrit for ‘wisdom’ or ‘knowledge,’ while Lestari means ‘eternal’ or ‘persistent.’ So Vidya Lestari reflects our hope on her: to have, to give, and to be an eternal wisdom. It was her grandma who suggested using Lestari. (By the way, in Sanskrit, Lestari is ‘Amartya.’)

Finally, Perdana means the first one. Like her father, Rara is the first one in the family.

About the adoption

We’ve been discussing the plan to adopt a baby for a while. We began realizing the plan only about a month or so. According to the people we contacted, the process may take a long while. We must be interviewed first. Then it is a matter of luck and time before we can hear about anything.

Saturday, 18 October 2006 began as an ordinary Saturday. It was the last few days of Ramadhan. Juli and I were cleaning up our house when a phone call came to inform that a baby girl was born, but her parents could not afford the cost of delivery (they told us it was a Caesar operation). We were asked whether we wanted to see the baby.

The next day, we came to meet Rara for the first time. It was a love at first sight. We had to make an immediate decision – and it was a ‘yes.’ We were so excited, somehow emotional, that we didn’t bother to open her cover and examined her body. We believed that he was brought to us, and we were trusted to take care of her. So no matter what happened to her, we are chosen to take the responsibility. (In fact, Rara was in a very good condition.)

There was another problem: we were totally unprepared! No baby box, clothing, pampers etc. And we were already in the holiday break. So we had to wait for a few more days before we can pick Rara up. Nobody knows about this at that time except our parents and siblings. Even during our big family’s Ied celebration, we did not spread the news yet.

After some emergency shopping and a big favors from some friends and relatives, Rara finally moved in. However, she will stay at her grandparents’ in Bintaro because our small house in Benhil has not ready yet. Juli still has to formally resign from her work, and she may need a month or two. She's made the commitment to be a full-time mom whenever we have a kid.

Nevertheless, Rara has now joined our family. Let her steals our sleeping and leisure time. But of course she trades the time he steals from us with the joy and happiness she brings…

Idul Fitri 2006

satu hari di jakarta

Aku membuka mata, mendengar bel roti, mendengar musik bayi yang menghipnotis, mencium aroma pagi yang berkeringat. Melakukan rutinitas di pagi hari tanpa mau berkompromi dengan terang. Tidak lupa menelan butir putih itu tapi tetap saja lambung membandel.

Saat membuka pagar, saat aku harus bercinta dengan terang dan dengan hari. Selanjutnya adalah pergulatan semu tentang kemacetan yang tidak kunjung usai. Mendengarkan radio yang itu-itu saja. Mencoba menggantinya adalah sebuah kesia-siaan bagi rasa yang sudah terkungkung ini.

Ketika laci dibuka, satu persatu perangkat masa kini dipasang. Berharap paling tidak satu bunyi membawa senyum. Menera lega untuk beberapa jam ke depan. Sejauh mata memandang dalam ruang empat kali empat, kudapati lukisan hijau itu. Sebuah utopia kehidupan di mataku.

Jakarta tidak pernah diam. Jakarta selalu mengusik. Jakarta adalah kenyataan.

juli